Thursday, June 19, 2008

"What Happens There Goes On There"

So, I was in the library last week and after being uncomfortably stared at for 15 minutes, this guy approaches me. He clumsily starts the conversation by saying something clever like, "Checking out a book today?" I respond accordingly--"Yep." It happens to be a book on the history of Las Vegas. He asks why, I tell him I'm going there for several days, and he says--yeah, he really says this--"Well, you know what they say, what happens there goes on there!" Um, ok. So I respond accordingly--"Yep!" And run away.

We arrived in Vegas 5 hours earlier than planned due to our airline calling us and telling us if we could check in in 45 mins., they could get us a non-stop. We hustled and just made it! That is where our luck began. We checking in to our beautiful condo just behind Planet Hollywood Resort and settled in. We decided to go eat and that is when our luck continued. We stopped in at a new bar/restaurant just outside of the Monte Carlo called Diablo's. It was packed and we were faint with hunger. We put our name in and were told it would be a 45 minute wait. We headed out the door to entertain ourselves when our buzzer went off! We turned right around and went up to the hostess---she looked at us strangely and we showed her our flashing buzzer. She obviously called the wrong one, but being a professional, she seated us immediately!! After some ridiculously expensive margaritas ($36 for a pitcher) and a shared quesadilla, we felt revived enough to go lose a crap load of money in the Monte Carlo. Alas, our luck was dwindling.

Saturday we went grocery shopping and bought breakfast and lunches with the plan of eating dinners out. We only did this so we could shove more money into the slots and crap tables. We lazed around the pool and went to the Bodies Exhibition at the Trop. It was insane and weird, but we love it! The bodies are real human bodies preserved with some wild-assed chemical. We saw every part of the human body displayed in every way imaginable---skinned, just muscles, just bones, just veins, just arteries, the reproductive systems, diseased hearts, lungs, livers, you name it. They even had embryos and fetuses from every week from conception to birth. They had conjoined twin babies, they had a full term baby whose insides developed on the outside, everything. I can't get over one thing--our meat looks just like chicken. I'm not kidding.

The cool thing about our resort condo is that the pools never close. We sat out there till 2-3am almost every night. People were playing volleyball, and talking and having fun. I could live there. The name of the property is the Wyndham Grand Desert, and it's a part of the travel club we joined last year. It was our first time staying at the Wyndham, but won't be our last.

Sunday I spent the day at the Grand Canyon. What a long 10 hours. We motor coached from Vegas to the junction, then boarded a crappy hack bus to drive the 15-mile dirt road to the west rim of the canyon. We broke down in the middle of the Mojave desert. Yep. With no air, and rattlesnakes crawling all over, we waited for 45 minutes for a new bus. When we finally reached the canyon it was amazing. It is awesome-so unbelievably beautiful. I will post some pics later.

Back in town, Jeff spent father's day doing laundry and driving around buying me presents! I am the luckiest woman on planet earth! He met me in the Shadows Bar at Ceasers with a cold drink waiting. We ordered a few more and caught up on each other's day. We then got all dolled up and headed to the NYNY for the 10:30pm showing of Zumanity. Earlier in the day I had mentioned to some fellow agents that we were going to the show. They looked shocked and told me to be extremely open-minded and that they had clients walk out they were so shocked, because after all, it is about human sexuality. I assured them I had done my research and was fully aware of what I was getting into. Some say it's not appropriate. Some say it's dirty. I say it was incredibly erotic and sensual and that the dancers are fantastically talented. We sat in the second row and I have great news for all of you ladies out there--even show girls have cellulite if you sit close enough to the stage--and they are still beautiful!! We so enjoyed the show and laughed at the comedy and sat still during the amazing dramatic scenes. There was even a midget and a goat--it's not what you think--well, not really.

We again layed by the pool until the wee hours talking about our lives and where we want to be in the next few years and what we want to do and what we want to teach our boys. Great time for talking. No time constraints. No responsibilities. Just us. Doing whatever we want. A true vacation.

The next day we were so beat we just sat at the pool and played group bingo. Exciting I know, but it was really fun! Later we headed to Bill's Saloon and Gambling Hall ate at the steakhouse there and then raked in the friggin bucks!! Jeff was between two hotties at the craps table for over two hours. They thought they had a fresh one to go home with until I sidled up with my several hundred dollars I won on the dollar slots. You should have seen their faces fall when Jeff grab me up and kissed me! Sorry girls, you'll have to find your own man. Jeff gets hit on all the time. The only time a man talked to me that night was when an old guy in a walker tried to buy a smoke off me. I gave him one and he gave me the nicest smile I'd seen all night. Later we hit Harrah's piano bar and watched them hit the keys. The place was packed and everyone sang along. We really had fun there!

Tuesday we layed around some more, gambled some, bought souvenirs downtown. We packed up Wednesday morning and flew home that afternoon. We both worked today and again tomorrow. It really sucks working you know? We both dreaded going in today. But, reality has struck.

The best thing about Saturday will be holding my babies again. We'll meet mom and dad in Stanley to collect our boys and doggy. I can't wait!

1 comment:

Beatnik said...

You make fun of that like you had never heard that. Sheesh.
Sounds like you guys had a great time but there are some health concerns I have for you two.