I always get a little melancholy on New Year's Eve. Today is no different. I think back over the year and go over memories--some good, some bad.
I think about all the violence and tragedy people went through, the horrible crimes committed, all the sad things going on that I have no control over. The only thing I can do is to pray when I hear and see these things that are out of my hands.
I also think about the good times. These memories most always include my boys--all three of them! They have grown up so much this year--Isaac is so mature (most of the time!). Ben is so funny. They are great kids and I think they are happy--which makes me very happy. Jeff and I are half-way through our 15th year of marriage and going strong. Life is good.
We have wonderful families, good friends, a close-knit church family, a roof over our heads and plenty to eat. We have cars that run, 3 adorable cats (well two are adorable, one is old and grouchy) and we are growing in our spiritual lives--all four of us. I have much to be thankful for.
As I look towards tomorrow and the rest of 2005, I want to better myself--be kinder, more generous, a better friend, a better sister, a better daughter, mother and wife. I want to focus on the important and manage my life in a bit more orderly fashion. I'd like to take my kids to the ocean, take Jeff to Vegas, and take my friends out to lunch more often. I want to landscape my yard. I want a nice boulder. I want to watch the Oscars without being interupted. But these things are wants, not needs.
I NEED to help other people, give more time to my church, do what I can to make a difference in this sometimes crummy world. I need to contact friends and family I don't call often enough. I need to spend more time in Salmon with my sisters and parents and grandmothers. Time is going by--life does not last forever. We only have the here and the now.
Today I am having a glass of wine with an old friend. Then Jeff and I and the boys will have our annual seafood feast of shrimp and crab legs. Then we are going to the movies. Tomorrow we start the year by spending it with our nieces and Jeff's brother. Sunday we celebrate Ben's birthday two days early. We'll be off and running--hopefully taking the time to smell the roses and look at the sunsets.
Happy New Year to you all.